I had one of those the other day.
Bug and I were driving on base and she asked me about the new barriers and extra security. B and I have a policy of not lying to her about things. Now, don't go teasing me because I sound so high and mighty - not lying is TOTALLY different from not totally answering the question. For example, how are babies made? Miracle. That's the truth, and that's all of the truth she needs to know right now. I'm not going to tell her about sperm and eggs and sex and all that, but I'm not going to tell her about the stork.
She asked, and I hesitated but then reminded her of the man who was killed a while ago. We discussed how he was very not nice, and did lots of bad things to people. And how he's dead now. I told her that it's sad that he's dead, because it doesn't matter what kind of person someone is, it's never good or happy when a person dies/is killed. But the bad man was part of what the fighting in Afghanistan is about, and he had friends. So now his friends are angry, and might want to retaliate against the military. I assured her that Daddy is safe, and we are safe, but still.
I had that conversation with my four year old.
She already knows that Daddy is a Marine and that Marines have guns and they fight. She knows that last time Daddy deployed, it was to help keep the good guys safe.
We are going to eventually have to have the conversation about how Marines can get killed. Thankfully, B's job is not that dangerous, as far as Marine Corps jobs go. But how do you explain that to a kid?
Maybe I'm in denial but I am not ready to have these conversations with her.
I keep waiting for her to figure out exactly what Daddy does and just how dangerous it is. I'm glad she hasn't yet, and I would love it if we could hold that realization for after the next deployment, but I fear it won't last.
And I have no idea how to tell her all the details.