Denial?

Do you ever have those military mom moments when you go, oh my kid is NOT going to grow up normal?

I had one of those the other day.

Bug and I were driving on base and she asked me about the new barriers and extra security. B and I have a policy of not lying to her about things. Now, don't go teasing me because I sound so high and mighty - not lying is TOTALLY different from not totally answering the question. For example, how are babies made? Miracle. That's the truth, and that's all of the truth she needs to know right now. I'm not going to tell her about sperm and eggs and sex and all that, but I'm not going to tell her about the stork.

I digress.

She asked, and I hesitated but then reminded her of the man who was killed a while ago. We discussed how he was very not nice, and did lots of bad things to people. And how he's dead now. I told her that it's sad that he's dead, because it doesn't matter what kind of person someone is, it's never good or happy when a person dies/is killed. But the bad man was part of what the fighting in Afghanistan is about, and he had friends. So now his friends are angry, and might want to retaliate against the military. I assured her that Daddy is safe, and we are safe, but still.

I had that conversation with my four year old.

She already knows that Daddy is a Marine and that Marines have guns and they fight. She knows that last time Daddy deployed, it was to help keep the good guys safe.

We are going to eventually have to have the conversation about how Marines can get killed. Thankfully, B's job is not that dangerous, as far as Marine Corps jobs go. But how do you explain that to a kid?

Maybe I'm in denial but I am not ready to have these conversations with her.

I keep waiting for her to figure out exactly what Daddy does and just how dangerous it is. I'm glad she hasn't yet, and I would love it if we could hold that realization for after the next deployment, but I fear it won't last.

And I have no idea how to tell her all the details.

Redbook

So I will say first that I LOVE Redbook. It's seriously my favorite magazine. It's probably the first magazine that I have ever read where I read and am interested in every article. I subscribe to it, which is saying a lot, because I have never ever bought myself a subscription to a magazine. I have been given subscriptions as gifts, but never purchased it myself.

If you read the magazine, you know that at the beginning, where they have their staff listed, each month they have a question/challenge that they pose and the staff responds.

This month's challenge? Help a military family. Awesome! I was totally on board, and so excited to see how the staffers responded.

Then I read the answers. And every.single.one involved giving some family money or household goods.

While I am aware that there are plenty of military families who could use financial assistance, I'm a bit frustrated that this seems to be the only way non military families seem to help out. There are SO many other ways to help, America!

I could come up with a list a mile long.

1. Make all deployments no more than 6 months.

2. Stop sending the guys who have already gone 3+ times. I know there is a Marine somewhere who has never gone.

3. Keep every single deployed service member safe.

4. Ensure that the next house we move to will fit everything from this house, and from the house before - that may or may not be in storage, or awkwardly shoved in a corner. Oh and if that house could be reasonably affordable, near the base, and in a good school zone? You'd be amazing.

5. End return date waffling.

6. Find a moving company that will not only not steal/lose your stuff, but not break anything either.

7. Provide every deployed service member with a cell phone that lets him or her call home regularly, but does NOT violate OPSEC.

8. Speaking of, explain to all of America was OPSEC is, and how to not violate it.

9. Get Americans to support the military. ALL Americans.

10. If somehow, word could be spread that we do NOT like to be asked if we're afraid while they're deployed, or to be told that we knew what we were getting into, that'd be nice. And it's that stereotypical joke, but please do not compare my husband's tour in Iraq/Afghanistan for 7-9 months to your husband's business trip of one week to New York City.

11. ...oh, you want realistic wishes? Ones that regular people *(AKA not HQ Marine Corps and the President)* can help with?

Fiiiiine.

1. Stop stereotyping service members. Just because my husband is a Marine does NOT mean he is a baby killer. He is a smart, kind, amazing man who happens to carry a gun for his job. Which involves defending you. And your right to call him a baby killer. Just keep that in mind, ok?

2. STOP stereotyping military spouses. I won't even go further in to this, because I get too mad.

3. Help spouses get good jobs. Don't look at our resumes and ignore the experience and education and only notice the constant moving.

4. Babysit my kid so I can go on a date with my husband. But don't be upset if that date changes a dozen times due to being called for duty, or liberty being revoked, or Top saying he has to stay late, or any other random thing that only the military pulls.

5. Give me a name, email, facebook address! of SOMEONE I can be friends with at the next duty station.

6. Remember that though my child is four years old, just like yours, she's lived in four houses in three states and said good bye to her Daddy for an unknown length of time three times.

7. Agree to answer the phone at 3 am when my neighbor pees and I think it's someone breaking in to the house while my husband is gone. Then stay on long enough to assure me that it's just that over active bladder again and my children and I are only in danger if we hide on the toilet.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE that there are people willing to help out military families. Lord knows we need it. I just feel like all the 'help' I ever see extended and received is financial. Aside from looking horrible *(and irresponsible)* to non military families, it's not fair to those who are doing well financially but could still use some extra help.

Military service members and their families do more for and give more to this country on a daily basis than the average citizen. We are grateful for the help. But please, America, don't think that throwing money at us can always solve the problem.

PS

I'm WAY proud of myself for figuring out how to change the font!

...and by figuring out, I may, in fact, mean googling 'how to change blogger.com entry fonts' and reading a dozen pages until I understood. Seriously, sometimes I wonder how I manage to do anything technological.

Mac Attack!

Firrrrst off, I have to share that I am on a brand new MacBook! YAY! The reason I haven't been on here for a while is because ALL our computers crashed - I don't even know how. Well, I know how mine crashed - it's four years old and I've done a LOT on it. B's was having issues, so the geek that he is, he decided it to take it apart. Our desktop has been out of commission for a while, so for a few days we had nothing. Thank goodness for our iPhones. :) So, since we'd been talking about each getting a new Mac with our tax return money, B surprised me and bought us each a laptop!

So now that I'm BACK on my own computer and it's wonderful and fast and lovely, I can finally try blogging again. I was doing so good while B was gone. Then he came home and took his computer back over. LAME. Haha.

Clearly, there has been a lot going on in the world AND my life recently, so let's see what happens with this post!

Osama bin Laden is dead. I'm glad he's not a threat anymore but you I don't think I will ever say I am glad someone is dead. I don't care who they are. What's that Martin Luther King Jr quote? We will never learn to live in peace by killing other's children. Yeah.

I also have to say, I was ashamed of my generation for their celebrating in the streets. Really, who thought that was appropriate? I understand the relief people probably felt, but did they not think about how disgusted we as a country are when our 'enemies' do the same thing when they kill one of our service members? So while I do care how it made us look to our enemies, my biggest concern was how we stooped so low - right to their level.

Finally, I am not sure how some people think this means an end to the war. We just killed their leader. How does that make anyone think we are done with this? Also, a lot of reports were that lately, bin Laden has just been a figurehead. So they have a new, evil leader. And to send our troops home now? What about the Afghan people who have been helping us? Our base has new restrictions on getting on base; I'm sure bases in Afghanistan are under pretty serious security. I feel as though Afghanistan is more dangerous now than it was when bin Laden was alive.

I hope - but do not think - that this at least means a sooner end than before.

Moving on.

I've had lots of 'Oh being married to a Marine' moments lately. You'd think I'd be over it by now...not so much.

He came home a few weeks ago and Bug and I are thrilled. Last weekend, however, he had to go welcome the guys from his battalion home from Afghanistan. He came home so upset. The first thing he was , "I should have been getting off the plane, not f-ing greeting them." *(Obviously he didn't say f-ing, but I think you get it without me having to say it.)*

And you know what's weird? I totally understand. Ok. Not totally as in I want to go too, but I know why he wants to go. And I hope he gets to. I was talking to my future sister in law *(remember, brother in law is also a Marine. He's deployed three times and they are waffling about whether or not he'll be sent this fall. SIL is anxious.)* and she didn't understand why I was so chill about it. I was trying to explain the whole "They are Marines; it's their job" and eventually got to the "They are Marines; they are weird!!" and I finally realized why I'm so ok with him going. I told SIL, it's kind of a compliment that he so badly wants to go. She was astonished. But it is. He's so ok with us as a couple and me as a person and a parent that he has no hesitation/nothing holding him back and just wants to GO. He's volunteered with a group similar to his, but they don't need his MOS. We'll see what happens.

Well, I have a lot more to type *(like my recent frustration with the doctors here)* but I'm supervising while Bug cleans her room. I'm bribing her with her own Easter candy. It was working, but apparently, she can't clean if I am typing. Blargh. Somedays I just want to throw all her stuff away!